Bad Beats

At random times I will channel surf to some station and let it play in the background while I do whatever catches my attention at that given moment. More often than not I reveal my love of sports by leaving it in ESPN or ESPN 2. And almost as often as not they disappoint me with "sporting events" like Professional Poker.
I fail to see how card playing is a sport. Does it involve physical agility, dexterity, endurance, talent? Far from it...the majority of Poker players bear more resemblance to Dom Deluise than Dom Dimaggio. Just a bunch of guys and a few girls hanging out making almost no physical movement...at some major tournaments they actually have the bar skanks dust the players...and cracking on the abilities of other players.
Of course, the recent boom in poker popularity has led to massive numbers of amateurs and Internet players attending these tournaments. If you ever want to here a profanity that puts "the 'n' word" or "the 'f' word" seem mild, just listen to pro poker people talking about "internet players". It really puts to mind the old discussion about "a word only has whatever meaning people apply to it. 'Damn' in and of itself is no more and no less profane than 'sausage'." "Internet player" has the same meaning as "mother smurfer" in their minds.
And it is more than just because they had to "work" (please spit milk through your nose when you read that) their way up whereas the internet smurfs catch a hot streak and some website enters them. The professional poker player resents them because they truly believe their plays are skill but the same play by Internet smurf is lucky and a poor play.
And to be certain, there is a certain "recklessness" to many Internet Smurfs...or is there? You see, one of the longest, most cherished maxims of "good" poker players is "You don't play your hand, you play your opponent". Then they get upset because there are a couple very obvious groups of Internet Smurfs: those who play their hands...and those who play their opponents.
It drives the "pros" nuts when some I-Smurf comes along, has a better hand than the pro, AND BETS THEIR BETTER HAND. The pros get all offended because the other dude is betting too early. Or too much. Using all these wrong strategies. AND WINNING.
The pros complain these strategies aren't the right ones. Meanwhile, they go all in with a high pair and then get beat by a small 3 of a kind or their opponent drawing into a straight or something. Then they whine their opponent "got lucky" and "that isn't how poker is played".
In the episode I overheard the other night some I-smurf was in a head to head against some 'respected poker pro" with who cares how many WSOP bracelets...I swear, there must be thousands of those things given out every year because almost everyone has 2 or 3...you know someone is an Internet player when there are 500 people in a tournament and 350 of them have multiple WSOP bracelets...one of the most over-rated trinkets ever...those things are worth less than a Grey Cup win...
Anyway, early in the betting cycle the I-Smurf, holding a hand superior to that of the pro, although they did not know that, we the studio audience did, made a really high bet. The pro wanted to play but didn't want to call because the other guy bet too much. So he folded with a snide remark about the ridiculousness of the other guy's bet to which I-smurf replied, "That's poker." And pro replied "That's not poker. That might be how you play, but that ain't poker."
Right now lots of poker snobs are nodding their head in agreement with the pro. Allow me to point out...just as poker pro thinks I-smurf is an idiot...neutral peeps such as me consider poker pro to be an idiot.
First of all, just because people are using strategies that you are not used to does not mean it isn't good poker. If it didn't work they wouldn't win. The fact is it DOES work. And that drives you nuts because you want to close off those strategies. Waaaggggh. Take your cards and go home, hose head.
I laugh when I watch poker pro with 2 or 3 or 4 WSOP bracelets draw 3 of a kind and then say he got a bad beat when his multi-brace opponent draws into a straight. Or the classic the other night where one went "all-in" with a full house...and his opponent drew a HIGHER full house on the turn. As long as it is a pro they are fine with the play...but if I-smurf makes the same play they complain he never should have bet against a hand like the full house. Whatever.
Or the large number of people playing...and, it should be pointed out, WINNING...with hands they "shouldn't play" according to the pros such as a 3/5 off suit...which ends up being 2 pairs or a straight or 3 of a kind and winning about as much as the people playing the Queen/King combos they like to play. News flash...they are WINNING those hands you think they should not play. The problem here is not I-smurf who actually has a sense of what wins...it is people not willing to change to meet the demands of today's successful game.
Still, as background noise it is pretty amusing...not much better than listening to "pro" after "legendary pro" get smurf-slapped time after time by the "ignorant" but victorious "Internet Smurfs" who show up at more and more final tables. Go go gadget I-smurfs! And get those poker snobs off my tv so I can get more quality stuff like International Strongman competitions. After all, what is more athletic: pasty faced card players hurling verbal javelins or overbuilt muscle rags snapping biceps playing tug of war? (based on a true event)