Names have been changed to protect the...stupid

My first "real" job was working at a local fast food restauraunt. Since I don't want people to know I worked at Burgerville, I will use a pseudonymn for it for the remainder of this post and say I worked at Burger World. No, not the famous one where Weird Al, who has a new album out today, worked at in his classic movie UHF...you remember the flick, the one that launched the careers of such epic tv stars as Fran Drescher and Michael "Kramer from Seinfeld". But that wasn't the Burger World I worked at so please don't ask for autographs.
I actually transferred within company to work in my home town. Since I am trying to protect someone here, I will give St. Helens a pseudonym as well and call it Small Town, Oregon. Well, working at Burger World in Small Town, Oregon was quite the experience. We had some really, uh, "smart" people that worked there.
For example, there was the blind girl who acted in typical stereotypical blond fashion. Since 1 or more of you might know Marnie, to protect her identity I will call her Maria.
Well, Maria was supposed to clean the grill one night. She was having a difficult time of it...possibly because it was a hard job requiring some significant physical effort and she was scrubbing with all the intensity one might use to apply mascara. At last she gave up and went to the manager. Kim, or, for the sake of privacy, Kary, as we shall call her, was a beautiful lady but not the most patient. I believe the conversation went something like this:
Maria: "I can't get the grill clean."
Kary: Eye roll, deep, long-suffering sigh. "Use some elbow grease, Maria."
Maria: "Okay." Walks to the stockroom, putters around for a few minutes, then back to the grill where James...err, Jim... is cleaning the other grill. "Jim, where do I find the elbow grease?"
Now, it would be nice to tell you that was the dumbest thing I saw while working at Burger World in Small Town, Oregon with Maria and Kary and James. (I am so pleased with myself...with all these fake names it is doubtful anyone will ever know I worked at Burgerville in St. Helens with Marnie, the world's blondest blond). Sadly, it wasn't.
One day we had a guy working Fish Side/fry side. Basically you had almost nothing to do. Someone would order a fish sandwich, you popped open the fridge, tossed the fish in the basket, hit the timer, it drops into the grease to cook. Run the buns through the toaster. Slather on tartar sauce, a piece of cheese, the timer dinged, the basket rose, you used the tongs to hold it over the basket long enough to drain the excess grease, then put the fish on the sandwich and wrapped it. Pretty boring job...and much more difficult than fry side which involved nothing but dump in the fries, push the button, when the basket came out flip the fries in the bin and salt them. You need an iq of about 3 to do the job right and effectively.
Now, you may have noticed the word "grease" in there. Because you cooked everything in grease. Rather hot grease. The temp showed in the mid to high 400s. It was easy to know the temp because whenever you weren't cooking stuff it showed the current temperature.
Well, one day we had a genius working fish/fry side. The fish came up and he dropped the tongs in the grease. The boiling hot grease. The stuff that made you sweat just walking by from all the heat coming off it. So instead of grabbing the other tongs to fish out the ones he dropped...the genius reached in. To the grease. With his bare hand. Now, this may come as a shock to you...but he burned himself. Badly.
Suddenly Maria seems just a little bit sharper. Man, I miss working at Burger World. Because I can assure you...if you think random acts of stupidity where they are trying to hurt themselves, stuff like Jackass, are funny...imagine how much funnier it is when someone does stuff like that because they just don't know better.