How to order breakfast; the travelers tip

Once a month we have a breakfast meeting at Elmers. Now, like most chain restaurants, Elmers does not fool a lot with success. You pretty much know if something was on their "permanent" menu (as opposed to the specials they have on the slate board when you enter the place or the little 1 page laminated pages they sometimes put in the center of the menu) a year ago..or 5 or 10 or 3 decades...the odds are good it is still there. And there are only so many times you can look at it without it becoming an exercise in futility.
Kind of like the people you see at McDonalds pondering the menu for 15 minutes...why are you wasting the time of those of us behind you that know what we want? You are at McDonalds, just get a smurfing hamburger. That is what they do. Hamburgers. Some minor alterations...like a quarter pounder. News flash...it is just a hamburger, maybe a little bigger. So when you look at your menu, 97% of it is some twist on the basic model...a hamburger. So order a smurfing hamburger or go away.
And don't even get me started on that chipper voice coming over the drive -thru; "Would you like to try an Asian Walnut Salad?" Another news flash; if I want "health food" such as some bizarre title trying to make me think it is a gourmet salad then I am going to go to ...oh, I don't know...a salad bar? And if I go to McDonalds, trust me...changing the name to "salad" doesn't make me think I am suddenly eating healthy. I am still eating at a smurfing McDonalds.
Anyway, sidetrack over with, the Elmer's menu is, to say the least, quite familiar to me. But I still need to switch it up. And there are many ways to do this. For example, one long-time favorite is to mock the other people with me.
The waitress comes to take the order, Joe Schmo feels compelled to point: "Ah, yeah, I will have the Farmers Omelet (points to the picture) and a side of Hash Browns (points to picture) and a cup of coffee." (oddly, they never point to the coffee...I guess it is assumed the waitress can figure out that part of the order without a visual aid).
So just to keep it fresh, I like to point to something completely unrelated. I will point to a New York steak and say, "I would like a French Dip, please". Surprisingly (?), not one person has ever noticed the discrepancy. The joke kind of loses its punch if nobody notices. So I tried something new today.
Waitress:"And for you, sir?"
Dave (pointing) "I will have the omelette."
Waitress: "Thank you. And for you, sir?"
Me: "I will have the Belgian Waffle cooked to a golden brown with a succulent strawberry compote."

I think it was very unfair of everyone to laugh at me instead of with me; after all, that is verbatim what it says on the menu....