hey! a sale on something useful!

How come there is never a sale on gas?
Emily wanted a fountain drink so we stopped by the Plaid Pantry. While I am not quite the slacker Al is, I am studying when it requires no effort and getting better so while she went in I lazed around in the car. Unfortunately I have not yet mastered the art of total inertia so I started reading the ads on their windows. You know the ones I mean. Lots of people set out to the minimart for bread and milk, few set out thinking, "What I really need is a package of jerky." But then you get there, you see that ad on the door...for only 6 bucks you too can take home thirty cents worth of jerky and the next thing you know you are at home chewing jerky wondering why you are out of bread and milk. That's pretty good advertising. It is also why they are called "impulse buys". You make the purchase on impulse, not planned. I would hope that is the only way like the Enquirer ever get sold. People wandering through the checkstand and see some retarded claim..."Giant fish has the head of a man" or alleged photos of some nude celebrity. The real irony there is you can probably get better resolution photos for free online, but whatever. People who purchase those magazines get what they pay for...a little bit poorer, a little bit stupider. (Would you like to know how I really feel?) Ah, yes, the dreaded impulse buy. Like Al flailing for chips it is never a good thing. But there was one thing on sale at Plaid Pantry that just was too bizarre for words. There are a lot of things you would hope people never make impulse purchases on. Houses, cars, toilets, big screen televisions, money orders. Apparently Plaid Pantry doesn't agree. See, this week Money orders are on sale. That's right, instead of 69 cents you too can be the proud owner of a money order for only 29 cents this week. Because, you know, when you head out to pick up that loaf of bread and gallon of milk, you might see that money orders are on sale and of course you are going to buy one. Saving 40 cents...how can you pass up a deal like that? I saw that and I bought a half dozen. So if you know me, now you know what you are getting for Christmas. Aren't you glad to know I saved 49 cents on it? In what world is it thought normal...smurf, in what world is it considered POSSIBLE that someone will just randomly see that sale and suddenly decide to purchase a few? Isn't a money order something you normally, you know, have a specific purpose for purchasing? Like making an e-bay purchase from someone who doesn't use Pay-pal or an important document transfer or something? Or am I missing the boat? Are there people out there floating around with dozens of Money Orders in their pockets just looking for an opportunity to spend them? I guess about the only sale item they advertised that was better was a sale on cigarettes. In case, you know, you are spending so much on your cancer surgeries you can't afford the poison any more, they will make sure you get your fix.