Joining the criminal class

According to the instructions on Lysol, it is a violation of Federal law...not state, not county, not international...Federal...you know, the guys with black suits, black sunglasses, no sense of humor? a violation of FEDERAL law to use the Lysol in a manner inconsistent with the labeling.
Hmm. Well, that makes me think that 90% of you who use Lysol are criminals. And not just state criminals...FEDERAL criminals. Very dangerous. You are going to the pen when you get caught. How do I know you are violating the law? Well, let me walk you through it.
I want you to estimate 6 - 8". Go ahead, do it now...mark it on paper how far you think that is. Got it? Good. Now grab a ruler. Were you right? Didn't think so. Now, read the instructions on a can of Lysol. Have you always, every time, maintained the can exclusively between 6 and 8" from the surface you are spraying? No smurfing way, you lying sack of peat moss. You know smurfing good and well that you didn't. Oh, you might have started there. You might even have ended in that general vicinity. But there is no way you STAYED in that zone. You came out of it trying to get that corner without moving, or turning to look at some sound that interested you, or just mis-judging the distance. And...YOU ARE NOW A FEDERAL OUTLAW!
See how easy it is to become wanted? Grab a gun, go Bonnie and Clyde, because they are coming to get you. When you are on Death Row writing your memoirs and Charles Kuralt comes to interview you on where your life went wrong, you can easily point to the exact moment. "Well, Charles, my criminal life began when I ran afoul of the Federal Government by using a can of Lysol in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Once I had broken that law, there was just no stopping me."
Tell you what, I don't want to become a criminal, so I can ensure you this...you won;t catch me doing any cleaning!