How is this for a change?

Greg's funeral, like most momentous events do at this point in my life, had a tremendous impact on me. For instance, realizing how many people I had told what a tremendous teacher I thought he was, it occurred to me I had never told GREG that. And, like so many people before me, I regret not having said something when I had the chance.
That was a valuable lesson. I started following up on it that very day, making a point of telling Larry Scott about how some of his actions had been a positive influence on my life, telling Jim Richardson how much I respected his strong stands, including but not limited to several I happen to disagree with, of telling Clarence Eason how much I respect what he has done, and so forth.
Also, looking around and seeing the impact Greg had, I realized yet another error I have been making. Sometimes it feels like all I do is see things I have been doing wrong, but hey...at least I am not too proud to admit to error and change it.
As any long-term reader of my efforts knows, I have been very uhm...reluctant to involve myself intimately in the lives of anyone else...not friends, family, or heaven forfend a member of the opposite sex in romantic liason. I have actively demonstrated mistrust and held people at a distance.
Yeah, theoretically, that has been justified. I was hurt pretty badly by not just Andrea but by several other people in the events surrounding our life together, our divorce, and even things since then. And I have used that as an excuse to hold people at bay.
Well, Pam & Greg were pretty badly hurt by some people too. Christy and Jerry are incidents that cost them a great deal of money, heartache, and trust. Yet they stayed the same people, good hearted, caring about others...person after person spoke of their positive influence even after those events. They never stopped opening themselves to the potential for being hurt, and it paid off handsomely in the return of love and affection for them.
One of my thoughts at the funeral was how everyone wants to be loved and respected as Greg was, but few are willing to pay the price to become the person who does, and cheerfully does, the things that brought him to that point.
And I have been more guilty of that than anyone else I know.
One of the first casualties has been me. My attitude and stance is specifically designed to make sure that I may never be hurt by someone close again, but I will never truly be happy, either. And since Greg's funeral, the more I considered things, the more unwilling I have been for that to become a permanent state. It is, instead, something I am actively seeking to change.
One of the first changes was a reconsidering of my thoughts towards and about dating and relationships of that nature. And slowly but surely it began to dawn on me that one of the people I consider not just a friend but a close friend is someone who exemplifies almost every attribute I find admiral. Loyal, trustworthy, compassionate, and more. Willing to share what is important to her...and willing to have me share what is important to me.
Over the past 2 or 3 years she has become one of my inner circle, my closest friends. And since Greg's funeral I have thought of her in ways other than "just" a friend...not that being a friend is anything to short-change, but I actually started thinking about whether or not this was the type of person I might want to share the rest of my life with.
And we have been talking about it for the last thre or four days. And yeah, for those of you who know me, here is a blast out of the blue that, before you read this, might have been something you would have sworn would never happen...I am actually seriously dating someone that I think of as "the one". And for the first time in a long time, it is something that feels right. Greg, I owe you a lot, but teaching me one more lesson, to never set aside potential happiness for fear of potential harm because to be the person I should be, I should not fear harm to me but rather fear harming others by pushing them away. With all sincerity, thank you.