The Interpretive Dance of the Flamingo Chariots

Although bumper stickers are one of the greatest road hazards along with billboards and...well...drivers not named me, there is a new player on the block. Oh, it is an insidious devil the likes of which we have seldom seen. It causes more problems than even the aforementioned troubles.
Bumper Stickers, of course, cause problems as people distract themselves from driving to read the humorous or political or subversive message...then take a half second to agree if it is funny, stupid, a candidate/measure they agree with or wish would just go away, etc., and then go on with their lives. They are easy to understand. "Visualize Whirled Peas" "Oh,", you think, "a play on 'Visualize World Peace'...Ha h..." yeah, not funny enough for a complete 2nd ha, but mildly humorous. And now you are back to driving.
Billboards are much the same. "Oh, the Blazers...yeah, just a bunch of punks they are trying to sell as good citizens." and your mind is back on the road.
But there is something much more distracting...much more difficult to comprehend. That is the growth of these ribbon banners.
Pink, of course, is for Breast Cancer, a cause I heartily endorse. Well, not the cancer...if some little germ comes knocking on my door soliciting funds for cancer growth research, I probably am not only not going to give him cash, I might beat him with a shoe. I am for cancer healing. I am anti-Breast Cancer. I am anti-more women losing their health and lives to it.
So when I see a pink ribbon on a car, I pretty much know it is someone who has contributed their sixpence towards cancer research.
Then I see a yellow ribbon. Okay, I think that is someone supporting the soldiers. However, the situation is confused when a vehicle sporting the "patriotic" yellow ribbon also has an anti-Bush sticker, sometimes violently so...which leads one to believe they are in the nevulous "Support the Soldiers but oppose the war" zone that nobody, including themselves, can explain.
Hence the origin (I assume) of the even more patriotic Red, White, and Blue "I Support our Troops" ribbon which, I suppose, means I also support the war...but I am not sure.
Nor am I sure all the Yellow Ribbons are Soldier support. After all, the yellow wristbands are Livestrong Lance Armstrong foundation ribbons. What if I happily honk to support a soldier supporter but mistakenly support a Livestrong person?
I am so confused...there are so many ribbons in so many colors, I am not sure what i am seeing. I don't need a navigator, I need an interpreter to know what other people support and oppose.
Now if you will excuse me, I am off to make a black "Huh?" ribbon.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

My ribbon will be reflective. Partially to see how people will interpret it, and partially to shine the light back on those jerks that leave their high-beams on :P

Riot Kitty said...

how about a ribbon of any color that says, I like this color? ;)