Sometimes it is the little things that matter

Part of Saturday, all day Sunday, and all day today I was nervous. Inexplicably, incomprehensibly nervous. I don;t mean butterflies in the stomach nervous...I mean stomach churning and upset, vision blurring, brain shut-down nervous.
And the only reason I can come up with is the start of school today, particularly Spanish 201, a class for which I feel woefully unprepared. I struggled so much in 103 and all my plans tostudy over the course of the summer somehow got submerged in an orgy of research for Dreamcatchers and other projects.
I don;t mean that I regret the summer. I had a lot of fun with friends and family, although a lot of discouragement also over the church issues. Be that as it may, I did not feel ready for the class tonight, nor do I feel ready for the term.
It does not help (although perhaps it caused) that I cannot sleep. I toss and turn, too tired to sleep, not awake enough to do anything productive. And the nerves...I am not used to that. I used to have nerves of steel, now I am so nervous I oculd not even eat breakfast.
Well, work was light at the end of the day, so I got down to PSU about 5. I figured I would get my books before class, so I went to the bookstore. Typically, on the first day of school, that means an hour or longer wait in line to make the purchase. I found the 1 book for Spanish and the SIX books for the Einstein class, paid, and had them back in my car in 13 minutes. I felt pretty good about that.
It took me almost a half hour to find the right building, however. And that was making me nervous. Fortunately, two of my favorite classmates (this is how much I like them; they are, I believe, the ONLY two classmates whose names I have ever learned) were waiting, so we chatted for a while.
The room was freshly painted and everyone was getting high, so class let out early. Score! Furthermore, the instructor is so mellow and laid back, it, along with the realization maybe 1 in 10 students had done even as little studying as I did over the summer, relaxed me a lot.
So much, in fact, I decided to do my gorcery shopping on the way home. And lo and behold...the lines were about 6 shopping carts each. Boo.
But I selected my needs for the next week, turned the corner...and there was a stand with NOBODY IN LINE.
I looked at the 6 cart deep lines, looked at her...she smiled...I said, "Are you open?" She nodded.
I was back in my car and home before the time class is normally scheduled to get out.
Now, not one of those events or sequences of events has any great meaning in life. I will not use the time to solve world hunger (eat), poverty, or discover a cure for rapidly growing nose hair. I won't eliminate anger or hatred, stop a natural disaster, or try on my new nippled Batsuit.
However, it really changed my outlook. Sometimes, when things go right, life just feels better, you know?