The challenge is real

Probably won't write much the rest of this week. Tomorrow through Friday we are down 33% of our sales staff at work. That means I will be pretty tired. Well, tired. Not very pretty. Not that I am particularly pretty when not tired, but when tired...oh, never mind.
Thursday night is our next game. I have pretty much moved to the outfield full time. I am actually starting to like it. My reflexes have slowed enough that the extra time it gives me to read the ball means a lot. Also, my vastly declined skills do not show so much.
No huge plans for Friday, but Saturday is pretty booked up. Cards, of course, and PSU has a home football game. I love live football. And live hockey. And sometimes live baseball. Hockey season starts soon, I am pretty juiced for that.
Wrote a new series of jokes last night based on some John Denver songs. I, at least, thought they were funny. But I did not write them down and this morning could not remember what they were about. Then, ironically, tonight after practice, someone brought up Rocky Mountain High and I remembered most of them, so that was cool.
On the way to practice, I called Dad. He had called last night to check up on me. I really appreciate his concern over my well-being. I know I say it a lot, but I love my relationship with Dad. I have seen him go through some tremendous difficulties in his life...1980 comes to mind, a mixture of a shattering blow including what, from where I sit, looked a lot like betrayal by his brother, a rift that has never totally healed, and the joy of the twins being born...
The next few years were tough, too. His back injury has been a constant difficulty for oh, so long. 1995 was no picnic either. It was not just Grandpa and Mom dying within 3 months of each other...and that was bad enough...but he was so close to Harold and Grace that she hit hard, and while little Vickie Miller was probably better off, coming so close on the heels of Dave dying, that was a blow for him. I am sure Aunt Donna meant more to me than him, but the timing...oh, the timing. And the the nonsense Goldina and a couple others pulled...
Yeah, I will be the first to admit there are a lot of events I have forgotten or gotten confused, but that is not one of them. Watching Dad grieve over his wife and fight his sister and daughter to maintain custody of his kids...that was not easy. If you ever wonder why I have so little love for Sue, apart from the other horrible, horrible things she has done...remember I watched Dad age twenty years in as many months. And again, it was family that did the most.
That is what makes him so amazing to me. He still believes the best about Sue. He believes the best about all his kids, no matter how little we sometimes warrant it. I know I have done things that would curl his hair if he weren't bald...and he still loves me. Sue has done things a million times worse...he still loves her and wants the best for her.
And I don't always understand that mindset. I try to be a decent person. I try to get along with others, to put them ahead of myself. But I have issues about remembering the bad as much or more than the good.
Tonight I talked to a friend who has accomplished something amazing. She set a goal that I would be very intimidated by...and tonight, for the first time, she hit it. On top of that, she set out to run a marathon. A couple weeks ago she was sore and hurting and still went the furthest she has ever gone, 18 miles. That impresses me.
IN light of this whole conversation, I think it is time to challenge myself. I have the ability to actually make a difference in the world. I have verbal skills, some talent for writing, and the benefit of some amazing friends and family.
From where I sit now, this instant, I am going to find a way to make this world a better place. It might be something small and insignificant that affects only maybe 20 or 30 people. It might be something huge, like changing the underpinnings of understanding and relationships between the indigenous peoples of the Americas and the later arrivals and their descendants. It might be something completely different. But I am going to set a goal to become the person Dad is in relationship and have the drive Emily does to accomplsih her goals and I am going to change at least my own little slice of life.
I know I joke a lot and some of you might not think I am serious...but this is a challenge to myself, and it is time to stand up and be accountable. To myself and Dad's legacy, if nothing else.