You, too can live vicariously through me

It is a sad fact of life that we do not and can not have time for all the activities we enjoy. Life is too short, work too long, and the call to laundry, dishes, showers, etc. for those of you who participate in those activities.
One way to enjoy all thos activities is pretty self-explanatory. You often see people with oversize pictures of beautiful locations...perhaps Crater Lake, or a harbor in the Bahamas, or the inside of a music chamber...other people prefer more active scenes such as someone running with the bulls or scaling a mountain or running a marathon.
The upshot is, people often live vcariously through other means. Every time I look at a roller coaster I take a ride in my mind. It is pretty fun, even if I am not there because I am living vacariously. And many people do it...let's face it, without living vicariously, the multi billion dollar porn and stripper industry would pretty much fade away in about 12 seconds flat.
So it is obvious there is money to be made in this industry. I have figured out my way. I have something many people don't, and for just 17 easy payments of $29.95 and one difficult payment of $299.95 you too can have access to this spellbinding experience. Take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity to live vicariously through me.
See, when you are out boating or going to the beach or playing rugby or enjoying the flower gardens, I am engaged in this activity you don't have time for. While you are cooking dinner and doing laundry and playing with your kids or dogs or goats or cats or hamsters or emus, I am enjoying this function. While you are washing your car or tuning up your moped or reinflating your hot air balloon, I am enjoying this pasttime you do not have time for.
And now I am videotaping it. You no longer need the time...I have spent it and you can live vacariously through me and thus participate in it. That's right. Every evening when I sit down to read, I flick on the videocamera for those of you too busy to read.
Now you can watch as I ponder a thought, leisurely turn a page, shift my weight in the easy chair, or take a break from a strenuous afternoon of reading. Thrill to my exploits as I skillfully cross the floor to the refrigerator where I withdraw a bottle of ice cold water. Join me in the passionate embrace of gained knowledge as you watch every exciting minute of my experience as I read yet another scholarly tome.
Of course, some people would rather just trade experiences, so if you would rather exchange your mundane, been-there, done that tapes of Bungie Jumping or hang-gliding for the unparallelled majesty of watching me read, usually something can be worked out.