Its time for another list

Mondays seem to be tough days for most people. So here, on hump day, I thought I would give you a head start on planning your next Monday. So without further ado and not much adon't either, I present, top ways to make your Monday better.


5) Coldstone. What better way to welcome a new week than an oversweet, overpriced indulgence for your sweet tooth (and posterior...because, you know, that is exactly where those toothsome treats head) that will have you feeling guilty all week long. Perhaps it will inspire you to go to the gym.

4) Starbucks. What better way to demonstrate your uniqueness than stopping by a quiet little spot for a drop of tasty overpriced coffee, in line with 12,372 other people demonstrating their uniqueness by stopping by a quiet little spot for a drop of tasty overpriced coffee?

3) Oversleeping. What better way to celebrate a new week than arriving late and giving the office wags something to talk about? At least you feel more rested.

2) Having a donut. What better way to enjoy the fresh start to a week than starting your morning off right with a healthy breakfast that clogs your arteries, adds to your spare tire and never tastes as good as it sounds?

Well, we have a better way. Brenda Spencer came up with it. When asked how she came up with the idea she said, "I just don't like Mondays. I did this because it's a way to cheer up the day. Nobody likes Mondays."

I know you are just dying to know what her idea was so here it is; the number one, best way to start your week off right:

1) Be the perpetrator in a school shooting. Providing an exemplary example for us all,Spencer felt compelled to talk about her wish to be on television. "I just started shooting. That's it. I just did it for the fun of it," explained Spencer.

I can't think of a better reason.*



*** note: lest anyone think I am actually that stupid, I should clarify; I am mocking her, not agreeing with her. The above, sick and twisted as it is, is intended to be loosely funny by showing the extreme depths of banality some people stoop to. In no way, shape or form should this be construed as believing her actions were anything less than the very definition of evil. Mindless, stupid, destructive, harmful...in what world does someone conceive of shooting people down as something to do "just for the fun of it" or a way to "cheer up the day"? Please do not construe this as vindication or agreement with her actions.