Yeah, so that needs read backwards, title does...as this disjointed post, thought maybe it should all be hard to read i guess.
Had lots of time to think the last couple three days. Got really sick yet again with my ever-present, never gone for good massive chest cold of doom.
Since I was so busy hacking, coughing, spitting, blowing my nose, coughing, and moaning, I really did not have time to sleep. And as much as I love Despicable Me, How to Train Your Dragon, The Incredibles, Kung Fu Panda II, etc., at some point I have seen all the movies I can stands and I can't stands no more...
But not being a spinach eating, muscle-bulgin violent sailor with ugly tattoos and an uglier girlfriend, I do not take it out on my delicate psyche by battering belligerent Blutos or partaking in hamburgers today for which I will gladly pay next Thursday...
So instead there sprung almost complete into my head a dazzlingly awesome scene for a book.
It was a truly magnificent scene, full of depth, multi-dimensional characters, both protagonists and antogonists who were believable, credible, and you cared what happened...the scene had drama, a potent ending, and depended heavily on the rich texture of the book that preceded this dramatic conclusion.
There is just one problem;
This, the finale of this segment of the story, the conclusion of part one of the three part tome...is all that would be written. The previous sections of the book which add so much texture and emotional impact to the tragedy have not only not been written...they have not been conceived of.
All the little touches, the call-backs to earlier moments in the book...have never been conceived of. So how can they be call-backs? But I know that they are.
Every color, every image, every movement, the verbal interplay between protagonist and antagonist sprung to mind full-bloom, dependant on the rest of the book for their meaning, and I know that...just as I know they are the first bit I have conceived of for the book.
I only hope I can find a way to bring it to life because I quite enjoyed the story. I just have to start at the end...and work backwards.
What I wanted to say - Dear Tootie, You are no longer suffering, and for that I am grateful. I've gone through so many feelings since you left this world Saturday. Grief, relief...
3 months ago