Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Or, in the case of drunken one-night stands wherein you wake the next morning to find a wart-covered troll with a nasty head cold somehow replaced the smoking, hard-bodied beautiful person you picked up in the bar last night, beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.*
With that said, there are certain things which seem to be generally accepted by the population at large to be "sexy".
Wait, stay with me on this one. can somebody please explain to me why a grown woman in knee-high socks, pleated skirt, and pig-tails is "sexy" when to me it screams out pre-teen school girl who wants to play those hand-slapping games and tetherball.
What am I missing? Why is it hot to fantasize that your grown paramour is someone with whom intimate relations = statutory rape? Color me confused with that one.
But it gets...well, I do not know if worse is correct, but certainly no better than a lateral move.
Many of us use terms of endearment. Honey. Sugar. Sweetie. Babe. Ho.
Wait a second..what is up with people calling and/or allowing themselves to be called pimp/ho/bitch?
These are derogatory terms indicative of classless, bottom dwelling pond-scum who sully the name of decent people everywhere.
Talking about your girlfriend as your ho is downright disgusting, not sexy. Yay, you rent her favors out for money. Go you! Enjoy the extra company. You spend a lot of time at the beach? Just curious where the crabs your ho has came from. Are they freshwater?
But wait, you are the pimp...you hire the girls out for their favors for money...much better, he said sarcastically.
But there is one term of endearment that creeps me out worse than all of the above.
Why on earth is it "sexy" for someone to say, "Who is your daddy" or for the girl to call her man "daddy"?
Father-daughter intimate relationships are a good idea, not downright nasty, creepy, disgusting and repulsive?
And I do not even want to think about the 30-something wearing the pleated skirt, knee-high socks and pigtails asking Daddy to spank her.
But I am glad I could implant that image in your head. you are welcome, there will be no extra charge for that service.
There is really no point to this rambling except to get off a few cheap jokes, get a few laughs...and retch over some of the things you perverts find sexy.
* NOT the voice of experience.
** Absolutely true. Cheerleaders are, the great majority of the time, smoking hot and worthy of eye-time.
*** Over-rated. And usually carrying several scary uninvited travelers which can make the rest of your life much less pleasant. Kind of like my ex-wife...except prettier.
What I wanted to say - Dear Tootie, You are no longer suffering, and for that I am grateful. I've gone through so many feelings since you left this world Saturday. Grief, relief...
2 months ago