I like to think I am a hard worker. I really put forth the effort when I am being paid to do something. So naturally, when the request was made, I tried to fulfill it. "Go get it" I was told. So off I went to get it.
It was supposed to be easy. In fact, i was told, "It is so easy it is frequently used as both simile and metaphor. So I know you can handle it."
I thought I could. Honestly.
I saw what needed to be done. Unfortunately, it was stuck. I looked around...nobody was looking. I applied a little force. I put my foot on the wall, reached down with both hands, and gave it a mighty yank.
It did not come loose.
Another look around. Nobody was paying attention. Good, I did not want to be embarrassed by my incompetence.
I booted it. Hard. And yanked as I did so, thinking that would jar it loose.
It did jar loose a squeal of indignation.
Frustrated I could not do the job, I tried to figure out what to do. So I reached in my pocket, pulled out two quarters and dropped them. Sure enough, that did the trick. The little girl turned her head for just a split second, looking at the quarters, and when she did I snatched the lollipop and ran.
Would have got away with it, to, if she had not been faster than me.
My only defense is they told me to take candy from a baby, and she was at least 6. If she was 5 I could have gotten the job done.
p.s. if you take this serious, I grieve for you. It is funny. learn that. live it. laugh at it.
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