You know, there are lots of things to hate about Karaoke.
Like the way a large percentage of people claim they don't do it unless really drunk, then proceed to ham it up worse than Babe. Or Wilbur.
Or the way that for many people it is not a light-hearted, engaging opportunity to warble their favorite tunes to the actual music of the band they love but rather a serious, serious endeavor that requires several hours of intent examination of the sing list to pick just the right number to showcase their complete lack of vocal skills.
Or the way they can take a song by someone with no noticeable talent for singing...and stink it up even worse.
At the risk of being lynched, I would give the example of say...Johnny Cash and Ring of Fire. Now, in the interest of fairness, I will say I like that song and I like his style. But lets be honest...his raspy, hoarse voice is not exactly of the smoothness of creamy whip.
Yet somehow, someway these karaoke all-stars find a way to drag it down even further. Why don't they pick someone impossible to have a worse voice than? I mean, in all seriousness, if you cannot sing with a better voice than say...Louis Armstrong then perhaps you should give up not just singing but all noise-making entirely. You are pretty much hopeless.
I think the funniest part is when some no-talent hack with the voice of a cat getting its tail stepped on at the same time it is being bitten by a rattlesnake who either does not know the words or is not familiar with the timing of the song gives a performance that makes it look like they are auditioning for a record label representative.
But hey...no matter how low they go, at least karaoke stars just sing real songs. It isn't like they find some made-up geeked out language and sing to that. I mean, how ridiculous would it be if say...a Trekkie happened to be a big Karaoke fan and decided to combine their two passions?
Whoops, I went off the trail. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY could possibly be that lame. They simple...what? Hold on a second, someone just handed me an advertisement I am supposed to read to you.
Plan now for July 16-18, a three day summer extravaganza of the event you have all been waiting for. Here is your chance to stretch your pipes, to show your skills, to perform Klingon Karaoke. *
Now, what was I saying before I went off track? Oh, yeah...NOBODY could possibly ever to be so lame as to mix the nerdities of karaoke and indulging in deep examinations of made-up cultures and languages from bad sixties television shows.
So clearly, I really have nothing to say here.
* Yes, this is really people who have gone beyond the pale. They translate songs into Klingon and sing them. For an example, scroll halfway down the page here to find the translation to Minstrel Boy as just one example of their work. Be sure to note their apology for the lack of Klingon accuracy...and sadly, I once knew not one but two people for whom these events were a major, major happy time for them.
What I wanted to say - Dear Tootie, You are no longer suffering, and for that I am grateful. I've gone through so many feelings since you left this world Saturday. Grief, relief...
2 weeks ago