At times I wonder

Sometimes we make choices that, when made, seem rather innocuous. There are clear threads of good running from them.

yes at some point, the thread starts to unwind, the unraveling that follows causes destruction in ways an places that lead us to wonder how we reached such a state.

I know this is nebulous, but it is meaningful and heartfelt as well.

I am dealing with a very personal frustration. It stemmed from a desire to put in force one of those "win-win" situations where people I cared about would be helped even as it helped those who were doing the helping.

And like so much of life, it backfired and did so tremendously.

Things have reached a ridiculous state of epidemic proportions.

I find myself forced into a position of defending someone or something I completely disagree with. I find myself in a position where no matter what path I take it will only result in hurt feelings, anger, disappointment, and hardship.

I wonder if the Good Samaritan Laws will get me off the hook if...never mind. Will not even say that thing because, though I find it funny, others would not get the joke.

So frustrated. No right answer. Only bad ones. Unlike my friend Junior Woodchuckette, I am ecstatic it is rainy and cloudy .Fits the situation perfectly.

I tried to pull the trigger tonight on doing the thing I guess I am supposed to do, but could not. Which means the situation will be worse on the other end. And that is even worse...or is it?

I remember one time talking about someone who married the wrong person and saying I wished the person in question would divorce the other person, even though I was glad it would never happen because it could not happen and have this person still be the person I looked up to.

Now I am in the same boat. If I do what others think needs done, it will be what needs done but will wreck me. And if I do not, it will wreck the vital relationship with the person I need to do it for.

Wow. How does someone who would float through life doing nothing get in such deep sewer?


Riot Kitty said...

Your post makes me very curious. What happened to self-preservation? You always seem to be the sacrificial lamb, and I do not like it, Sam I Am.

Anonymous said...

For me, the saddest part about this post is that you are sad and upset. I am sad and upset. Unnamed 3rd party is going through life making us sad and upset and are totally unaware of it. In fact, I don't think they give any consideration to anyone else. And that is the sad part. That we could be so upset and they don't even know it. And if they did, I doubt they would care.