Back in those (not actually all that) halcyon days of yore, I had a record player. An orange, plastic record player that looked a lot like this.
For those of you who are either too young or not hip enough, a record was a round vinyl object filled with grooves which would produce sounds when spun at the correct speed and with the correct needle. They were actually quite ugly.
I say hip because there is a certain segment of the population that loves records. Why, I do not know; you had to be careful not to drop the record, not to put the needle on the record to quickly or not straight lest you scratch the record, you had to play it at the correct speed or all you would hear was Alvin and the Chipmunks, you had to keep it away from the heat lest you warp the record, and even after all that, it sounded horrible.
Yet some "hipsters" swear by records and glory in their large collections. More power to you. I will take an 8-track...err, I mean, a CD.
Anyway, one of the records I had was full of awesomeness, like "1, 2, buckle my shoe, 3,4 ........the door" (I don't remember what it was) and by the time they got to "9, 10, a big fat hen" you were hoping the hen would lay an egg so you could throw it at the record player.
It was led by a smarmy, school-teachery woman and had a bunch of kids singing. Well, on that particular song, one obnoxious boy breaks in with, "A big fat hen? that's a funny one! Bawk bawk bawk bawk!"
To which she replies, "Bobby, you're interrupting."
She should have replied, "Bobby, that was far more entertaining than anything else on this record."
I do not know why they had that little by-play in there. Maybe a moral lesson about interrupting drivel?
What I do know is of all the people on that record, of all the teaching it purported to dispense, the only thing I really remember is the name of the poor sap.
Can you imagine having a reunion party for "that record we made when we were kids" and all anyone remembers is Bobby?
What brings this up? I would tell you, but someone just said something and I need to see who it was and what they said.
Oh, it's you...Bobby, you're interrupting.
Love and resist - This is going to be a raw post, because the mood here in and around Portland is raw. Bear with me. I have to get this out. How are you? has become a loaded...
3 weeks ago