They also come in "slimy"

I am not much for fishing. I have not had much success with it and, frankly, never really enjoyed the "throw a line in the water, then lay back and wait" aspect that was favored by the people who taught me how to fish. But I still have a couple of great fishing stories, one of which shall never be told here. Unless I think I can get a cheap laugh out of it, of course.

The other one goes back to those halcyon days of yore when I was a young chap. Our family was relaxing out at Trojan. Now, for those who don't know about Trojan, watch an episode of the Simpsons. That nuclear power plant Homer works at? Yeah, it is modeled after Trojan.

To be fair, I had friends who worked there and I never saw or heard of any of the outlandish incidents such as regularly afflict the community of Springfield...nor did I ever see a glowing fish, a 3-eyed fish, or any other sign of altered wildlife. In fact, PGE was a pretty good corporate neighbor. They had a very entertaining visitors center, they carefully maintained a no-fee park with softball fields, picnic areas, and bike paths....and they stocked the surrounding waters with fish.

So Grandpa, Dad and I were fishing, so the legend goes. I was around 4 or 5 years old and had never caught a fish. So they carefully instructed me on how to bait the hook, how to cast, where to cast, and we waited around. Fortunately for our story, I gaffed some poor fish and reeled it in. It was a catfish.

Casting a disdainful eye upon it, planting my hand on my hip and sneering, I haughtily proclaimed, "It's too little and too ugly, we'll have to throw it back."


I think I just described the brains of our current crop of politicians...