Add Tori

A week ago Saturday I was at Brother Buckles funeral. Dad said he saw one person who had...well, mistreated is a good word...Brother Buckles who was crying but in truth for everyone else it was more a celebration of a long, good life. When you are a man of conviction who lives those convictions, help a lot of people, and kick the bucket at 99 that is not, I would think, unusual. This Saturday of course was the funeral for Tori. She was only 35 so it was much sadder.

And the saddest moment of all...well, that belonged to her husband Leon. They had met coaching football(!) in 2003. They had a great relationship. And when he was doing his part of the eulogy he was memorializing her. It was really well done. He read some letters they had written each other and you could hear the love and devotion for one another in those letters. Then he looked over at her...it was open casket...and said perhaps the single most heartbreaking line I have ever heard at a funeral. It was more heartbreaking than anything at Mom's funeral, including her Dad telling her Goodbye which was top 3 along with my first wife's Dad's wake where the family was so shattered that it devolved into standing around commenting on "how good he looked". Uh...you do know he is dead, right? Dead people, as a rule, don't look to good. I mean, it was a grief-stricken thing and that kind of puts a level to it.

Well, Leon, less than 5 years with her, looks over at her laying in the casket and, breaking down, said, "We were supposed to be together forever."

I am not too proud to admit to a bit of waterworks there. Tough, tough moment. And a poignant one.

No matter how well you treat your loved one put some thought into how you might treat them better. They may not always be with you. I cannot even comprehend of a future without Em. I refuse to think about it because of how special she makes me feel. And I wonder...do I do everything I can to make her not only feel as special because of how I treat her but do I let her know how special she is to me? I know, some wag will say, "Ah, you have only been married 8 months, you are still in the honeymoon period."

And maybe they are right. But I refuse to believe it. I don't understand why we would ever forget the loneliness before coming together, why we would ever become more interested in making ourselves happy than the other one. So long as I put her first there is no reason for that "honeymoon period" to end before one of us passes away. It never did for Grandpa and Grandma Barton, never did for Mom & Dad so I know it can be done.

This event will help serve as motivation for that because I know what my life was like before Em came along. And I should point out...it is not as if I did not have a lot of family and friends around. My brothers, sisters, Al, Jr. Woodchuckette, Kyle, Dad, Kevin, Eric, Rick, more...but for all the love and affection they gave me...well, Em is still better. No offense, you all. But let's face it...Deb feels the same about Gabe, Pam about Nick, Fullur about Tracy, Ken about stanica, Jr. Woodchuckette about Sr. Woodchuckette, Kev about Cassie...a good mate makes your life better. missing that mate...that sucks.

One more note; Monty, Tori's brother, in his section talked about how much he will miss his sister and encouraged everyone to go home and hug their sibling.

It was an excellent point. Sometimes we make extra effort to make the spouse feel loved...don't forget the family. They also can't be replaced.

It was a sad day. But at least there are some positive lessons I can take away from it. I grieve particularly for Leon and Monty. I hope they have people close to them who can help them as much as the people close to me helped me. And I hope when the need is there I can be that help for the people around me. Peace to you all. Stay safe.