What I would do if I won the lottery

I remember about the first year I was in public schools they had us do one of those stupid, pointless, time-wasting essays on "What I would do if I won a Million Dollars". Now, far be it from me to join the raucous cacophony of voices decrying the quality of public schools...why point out the obvious, we all know the habit of teaching to the lowest common denominator, and that slowly, means they are complete crap...but I sure missed the days of studying useless stuff like math, science, history, phonics, etc. like I did in private school.

But in honor of "education" that disguises itself as greed-based essays, here is my list of things I would do if I won the lottery.

5) Pay off all my bills
4) Pay off my Dad's and families bills
3) Put money in savings against a rainy day
2) Go to several amusement parks

All of which are nice, fine, intelligent things to do. Some are even kind, albeit not as altruistic as giving to charity, let's say. But good things.

but the main thing to do...the most important thing to do...the number one...

1) Let my wife know I won it so she does not find out by Googling my name and noticing I won, then suing me for her share.


I particularly like the way the article highlights the strained nature of their relationship by calling her "Ms".