I know rape is never funny, but...

I have seen cars damaged by a lot of strange things. I have seen them hit by falling trees. I have seen them flooded out. I have seen parked cars lose their breaks and smack into other parked cars. During the snow storms last year, I repeatedly saw the video of one guy slamming into about a dozen cars.

I have heard about cars gored by angry animals.

I have been victimized by door ding gnomes and stereo thieves.

In fact, there is really only one way I can think of that I have never seen or heard of a car being injured...well, besides some tragic Guinness Book of World Records attempt...should be obvious by now.

After all, it isn't everyone who can say they turned a claim in for car repair after their car was...no, it's too horrible, I can't say it...it is too hard to mention. Besides, who would ever believe such a ridiculous story?

So I guess you will never find out about the guy whose car was wrecked when it was raped by a gay peacock. Sorry about that.