The dangers of drug distribution

If you watch many Hollywood gangster epics, at some point someone will lose drugs or drug money leading to them seeking to find said ill-gotten merchandise or gains before the heads of the criminal organization find them. When they fail the results are brutal, bloody, and painful. Of course, we all know it does not work like that.

In real life, if you lose a drug shipment...say, 68 pounds of cocaine...all you have to do is call the FBI and have them report it stolen. How could such a clever plan go wrong?

I wonder how the defense will spin this one.

"So your client says he is innocent?"

"Correct, your honor. He is innocent."

"Okay, that brings up a few interesting questions. How did he know where the bags would be found before they were discovered?"

"Well, a boy scout camp in the area seems like a good place to hide things. If he were the real smuggler, that is where he would have hid them."

"Uh-huh. And how did he know the bags would be blue and there would be two of them?"

"Well, he knew one for each arm. And if he were the real smuggler, he would make them blue because it is a common color and would fit in well at a boy scout camp."

"Seems plausible. Okay, counselor, just a couple more questions. How did he know how much weight would be found?"

"He called Miss Claire Voyant, the online psychic."

"Uh-huh. Well, you seem to have answers, albeit weak ones, to all the questions we have asked. I am inclined to find your client innocent if he can give a plausible answer. Why did he call the FBI and ask them to report it was stolen so his handlers would not think he lost it? And before you answer, remember...they are probably standing outside the court room with some heavy artillery waiting for him to emerge."