When you get a haircut

Remember the Ray Stevens "When you get a haircut" song? In each verse he goes through some outlandish scenario in which a barber is of...well...dubous quality. Such as the one that has a choir, the barber prays prior to giving the haircut, etc...or the one who chains his customers into their chairs and gives them mohawks...etc.?
Aren't we all glad REAL barbers never do anything like that? Oh, sure...every so often you run into one that kills one guy with his scissors in 2000 and then uses his scissors to stab another one in 2007...but what are the odds you will run into him? And it isn't like it is a regular occurrence...he has only scissor-stabbed 2 people in 7 years so it isn't as if he is dangerous.

By the way, from now on I will doing all my haircuts myself for no apparent reason...