Alternate titles

I was highly amused by the gnoming of the St. Helens High School...but could I have named the post better? You decide:

"Gnome, gnome on the range"

"There's noplace like Gnome"

"Ere Summers early Gnoming" (this one is a bit esoteric and references a poem regarding the gloaming...a word that, itself, seems to have passed from familiar usage)

"Support your local Gnome"


and, of course, after the students who performed the deed were caught...

"The Decline and Fall of the Gnoming Empire"

of course, it also brought to mind certain...well...other incidents. For some inexplicable reason, last year I was overcome with a passion for spork jokes. No sane person can explain this as spork jokes are not particularly high on most people's lists when they discuss "great humor devices". Be that as it may, the spork jokes all spork to me so I spork them to you through online print.

Well, the Gnoming of the High School brought to mind other creative endeavors in the non-malicious prank department. One individual to remain nameless to protect the (allegedly) guilty; a person with whom I am known to meet from time to time has admitted to being part of a group who absconded with pink flamingos from a variety of locations and relocated them all into one yard. Good times, colorful, and sensible.

On a less fun note, my ex-wife Andrea was part of a group who drove to Longview, raided a few KFCs, returned to St. Helens, went over to a co-workers' house and sporked the lawn. As in, covered the lawn with HUNDREDS of sporks.