Next week the wife trades him in for a calf

Serbia is still very much an agricultural nation. Cows often approach the worth of S400. Coincidentally, that is just about the amount many of the farmers need for corrective surgery. Well, corrective might not be the right word...elective maybe? It is kind of like vanity plates for a car, only these are vanity surgeries for farmers. They sell their cow, take the money, go to the plastic surgeon...and have their penises enlarged. Now right there this is already funny enough. I could take that and run with it. But it gets even better.

He said: "The size of a man's member seems to play a big role in our society and the price of the operation, around £400, is almost exactly what a good cow is worth - so farmers are choosing to swap a cow if it means a bigger penis."

Now, pardon my ignorance...but how, exactly, are they determining it? When they attend a formal hoe-down at the barn-raising do they whip it out and have it measured? Maybe instead of those stupid name tag stickers...you know the ones, "Hi, my name is" after which some illegible scratching is done with a sharpie...maybe instead of those, they all wear "Hi, my penis is 3"" stickers. Maybe they are identified by length and width. "Hi, I am l-3, g-1.5". "Okay, you go stand over there. Dance with the girls that have three warts or more."

Other than that how would they know their social standing? We can't have a l-10, g-4.2 dancing with a horse-faced washer woman...no, no, he needs to be with the 36-24-36 double d lawyer. And heaver forfend the good-hearted, jovial, hard-working but short-penis'd man over there rubbing elbows with this mean-spirited, spiteful loafer with the 9 incher....he needs to learn his place!

And last but not least...how much thought went into the sentence "The size of a man's member plays a big role..."


I am guessing not a lot. Probably written by a man with no penis.