Time to ruin another joke

Used to tell a joke as a serious story. It would start out something like this:

"Me and Phillip were driving down the freeway when I saw lights behind us. I pulled over to the side of the road and an ambulance flew past. As it passed us, and it was on a corner, one of the side panels swung open and a box fell out. We stopped to pick it up and opened it. Inside was dry ice and someone's toe. We immediately figured out the guy in the ambulance had clipped off his digits. Neither of us had seen where the ambulance was from so we did the only thing we could. We called a tow truck."

Now, since it is usually presented as a true story and embellished a bit, this always induces a groan and usually a laugh.

But what if a thief was found because he tipped over a forklift and lost his toes and they tracked him down by finding a recent toe amputee? What are the odds there was, yet again, alcohol involved in that one? Toe-tal shock.