How to perform a rescue

Many people become more attached to animals than to people. This is often understandable since people can be pretty despicable. Of course, so can some animals...but they are often less despicable.

So every so often an animal gets in trouble. Maybe a cat in a tree, a bird in a shopping mall, a whale turns left at Glendale.

On the bright side, there are people willing to help. Firemen (allegedly) get cats out of trees...

oh, c'mon. Have you ever actually seen that happen? First off...cats are retarded. They have no fear whatsoever. They will gleefully launch themselves out of 4th story windows, confident in their ability to land safely on their feet. I have never seen a cat afraid of a small drop from a tree. That is an urban legend cooked up to make firemen seem more pet-equitable, giving equal time to non-Dalmatians. They only like Dalmations becase the black spots look like soot already.

Others are willing to help as well. Like fishermen willing to drown to direct an angry whale back out to sea...