The necrophiliac version of Lorena Bobbitt

You remember Lorena? The wonderful woman who took dude's package as her vengeance? You can say many things about Lorena but one is not that she was a souvenir hunter.

A good marriage is indeed something to have souvenirs from. They can range from photographs to pleasant memories to various nic-nacs picked up on various trips.

Or, if you are Uta Schneider, a penis.

Yes, you read that right. No, I won't repeat it.

They had a good marriage, she wanted something to remember him by, and in her own words, she took "...his best asset and gave me so much pleasure" so what better way to remember him? And what would look better on the mantel than a picled penis? Just think what a great conversation starter that would be!

I can't. I can't do it. I was going to write a sample conversation but even for me this is too disturbed.

Well done, Uta Schneider. Enjoy that jail time for mutilation. Hope the memories speed the time for you. Oh, and that lunch box you were hiding it in? Just toss it. Nobody wants their lunch in there anyway.