You know, I try to be funny...but some stories just can't be topped

You really wonder about people sometimes. I mean, sure, music is important...but would you give up your future children for it? Oh, you might not think that is what you were doing...but if your Planters take a bullet for you because you did not get your way in regards to speakers, you sort of deserve what you get.
Take for instance the guys who, over some speakers, decided to get involved in kidnapping (a felony, by the way...) I guess we already know they are not the highest scorers in the testing room (get it? testing...testes...testicles? what? still not funny? okay. I tried.).
I think my favorite line, though, is "The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf."
So let me get this straight...he shoots his Planters and "cringes"? You think? Was there anything else involved there? Like, oh, I don't know...a scream of agony? The laughter of everyone watching this idiot?
There is a famous book out called "What is Wrong with Kansas?" Well...now we know. They only have half a testicle.