Twinkle, twinkle little Coinstar

I tend to not use my change. I let it accumulate in my pocket or the cupholder in the car or whatever. Then every night I empty my pockets into a can and every so often do the same with the change from my car. Then at some point I take the jar to a Coinstar.
Coinstar sort of took over a banking function. It used to be that you could take your change to the bank, they would count it for you and give you penny for penny. Nowadays, banks can't be bothered with handling money. Not their function, you know. So Coinstar came in.
They have a pretty good racket going. For a mere 8.9 cents per dollar counted they will count your money and exchange it for a voucher you can exchange for money. Nothing like adding steps to the process and charging you money for the privilege.
But they do provide a service not really available too many places. I suppose one of the dudes at the end of the on-ramp would put down his cardboard sign and count it for you...but the fee might be a little higher than 8.9 cents per dollar...probably closer to 100 cents per dollar.
Well, I bit the bullet and poured that beautiful silver and bronze into the spout. It was like being in Vegas for a moment...ching ching ching ching ching click ching ching click ching. I was looking around for the buzzers and sirens and 90 year old blue-hair Grandmas spending their great grandchildren's inheritance by yanking the one arm bandit down or sitting between 2 machines pressing buttons with a frenetic pace you would expect more from Al playing X-box or a junkie on speed mashing buttons at Mortal Combat...unhappy with merely spending...errr, investing their money at the slots, these elderly warriors of the casino jab buttons simultaneously on two machines with a rapidity and territorial fierceness that frightens away lesser predators. Make many mistakes in life but never come between Grandma and her slot machines. Or Bingo. And heaven help you if you walk by the Bingo parlor and make the mistake of thinking it would be funny to shout "Bingo!" You might think you can outrun them but the walloping you will receive from canes and walkers, but you are wrong. Try that stunt and you just might be the victim of some elderly gang warfare as you get hit with a walker-by macing.
Well, after I was victimized by the Coinstar, I took the voucher up to the counter to get my 72 dollars...and 57 cents. That's right, after the machine counted my change...I got change back...to put in the change jar...less 4.7 cents as a counting fee. How cool is that?