Leaving space for space...

Through the years I have wanted to be a lot of things. For a few years I wanted to be a preacher. I have always admired my Dad and the way he treats people. He was a very effective preacher and is still a very good man. I wanted to be like him.
Later I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. There was just something about winning an argument that fascinated me. I can be very, very argumentative. I used to have a phenomenal memory and figured I would be able to be a very good lawyer. I had daydreams of defending the innocent, convicting the guilty (even if they were my client) and righting wrongs. I still had this goofball idea lawyers could work for the good of people.
Well, years went by and I got a job I liked. Working in a lumberyard, of all things. I enjoyed driving truck. I liked building loads. I even *gasp* liked dealing with customers. I thought about making a career of it.
Later I thought about working from home doing take-offs. That is sort of a lumberyard type opportunity. As it turned out, a guy I worked with and I talked for a while about doing it together as a work from home type business, but that never came off.
Building doors was fun for a while and it was exactly what I needed at that period of my life, but it was never anything I considered for a career. It was a stepping stone. I like what I do but it, to, is nothing to plan to do for 30 or 40 years. So school is good for me...it presents options, opens doors.
I have found I love research and obviously I like to write. Some of what I write is pretty good, other stuff...not so much. But it is something I like. SO currently there are two things I think about doing. One is teaching history.
The other actually has roots sort of in the upcoming Mexico trip. I look forward to being in Bordonal for a couple weeks with my beloved hermana y cuñado, people I love a great deal. I believe they have land down there.
Ask yourself...how cool would it be to make your living hanging out in the heart of Mexico with people you like, writing sometimes during the day...relaxed, no rush, no traffic jambs, no screaming customers, no angry neighbors...just you and people who care about PEOPLE, not things, doing what you love...writing. I will be honest, if I had enough faith in my talent to think I could make a living doing that, I might be packing my bags for good when I go there in December. I don't...and there are other reasons not to leave here. But I think about it.
I used to be so stress free and now I am always tense, always angry, always frustrated...and I don't like being like that. Who, when they are a kid, says "I want to grow up to be a crochety old man...when I am 34"? So here is hoping my writing starts to come together. It is about time I returned to the laid back, fun loving, easy going guy you all know and love. :-) No ego there...