False Charity

Still feel horrible, so my day has been occupied with reading books about Will Rogers, half-watching the Red Sox/Yankees and Notre Dame/Michigan game. During the Red-Sox/Yankees game, an add came on by Major League Baseball (I think) about relief fundraising for the Katrina victims.
That is, on the surface a good thing. Furthermore, they plan to raise around 3 million dollars. That is a lot of money. I am happy now, but I am sure I could be happier with a cool 3 mil in my pocket.
Of course, much of the funds raised will be from the fans. 30 teams, 3 million dollars...you don't have to be a math wizard to figure out that is 300,000 per team. That includes two teams in New York, the city that received a fair amount of money itself after 9-11, and another 2 teams in Florida, a state that knows something about receiving disaster relief funding after Hurricanes.
So let's look at this a little closer. Let's assume I make 40K a year (and I promise you I make considerably less than that.) How do I stack up to a typical major leaguer? I will use that as the basis for my contribution.
In 2000, five years ago, the AVERAGE salary was a shade under 2 million dollars per player. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/baseball/mlb/news/2000/04/05/mlb_salaries_ap/
Naturally, salaries are much higher now, but I am in a generous mood and want to do my part. So we will use 2 million as the average salary.
Let's see, 2,000,000 divided by 40,000...for every dollar I contribute, they should contribute 50 bucks.
There are 30 teams with around 30 players (I am going to give the bloated front offices, coaches, managers, and other assorted staffs that multiply this many times a break because, hey, this is about giving and doing our part for the victims).
So if I give a very, very modest amount...say, 20 bucks...compared to what they make, assuming they have the same percentage of expenses I do...don't laugh, as they have pointed out, insurance on a dozen Porsches and a couple multi-million dollar mansions really adds up...the approximately 900 players are on the hook for 900,000 dollars.
Of course, it would be unfair to expect them to match every fan. So lets look at attendance and see how many fans show up this year. http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/attendance If each team had a home game on the same day and exactly the average showed up, we would look at 933,891 people. This is an average of 31,129.7 people. I will round in my favor for a change, 31,130.
Let us assume each person pitches in 5 bucks. Now, in 2003 the average U.S. citizen made 33,033. http://www.census.gov/statab/ranks/rank29.html
So let's redo our earlier math with this more accurate figure in mind. 2,000,000 divided by 33,033 = 60.545515. So the major league players are on the hook for a bit more. So if 31,130 people pitch in 5 bucks (155,650 dollars) then the players should contribute 9,424,607 dollars. That would be equitable (if equitable includes people who play a game for a living, make often 15 or 20 million per year for the top players, and have more disposable income than the average fan has income contributing on a relative dollar per relative dollar is equitable...and I don't think it is).
So I guess the 3,000,000 goal is very attainable. After all, if each of those 31,130 people just contribute a dollar the players are on the hook for 1,867,800 dollars...and that is at ONE ballpark. If all 30 ballparks do this, we would be looking at 56,034,000. Obviously it would be unreasonable to expect the players to put out that much of their money. Where would they get such a sum? (Since sarcase does not come across well in writing, please note; this is EXTREMELY SO. I believe people who spend more on 1 meal than I spend on groceries for 2 or 3 months probably have more disposable income than I do.)
So I am glad baseball is seeing their way clear to raise a staggering 3 million dollars. And since they are splitting the glory for their efforts with me, I will do my part to help them raise their amount. Where do I mail my dollar to? Oh, and in honor of the money coming out of these raised amounts for administration, can I take off the 37 cents for the stamp?


Oh, and lest you think I played fast and loose with the figures, please note: in 2005, the AVERAGE MLB salary is nearly THREE million, not 2.
http://www.baseball-almanac.com/charts/salary/major_league_salaries.shtml
So here is a legit question; in a world where 14 INDIVIDUAL players are making 15 million each for one year, how come not one of them has stepped up to singlehandedly contribute 3 mill? When that happens, come talk to me about participating "with" MLB in raising money. Until then I will let better groups take my contributions.