Celebrating the 4th

Yesterday is the day we would have celebrated Grandpa's birthday if he were still alive. I like to think Grandpa represented much that was right about America.
He grew up in the Oklahoma-Arkansas region. He had a poor education at best, third or fourth grade I believe. He came from a poor family and from the region where people were derisively and racistly designated "Okies". Racial prejudice is not always cross-pigmentation. It exists within the same pigmentation and he experienced it.
In many ways Grandpa lived the American Dream. He married a wonderful woman who was truly a partner and helpmeet to him for his entire life. He worked his way up to where he owned a farm that, while not prosperous in the sense that he had a lot of spare cash laying around, did allow him to travel some in the depression era. He did that on the power of his back and willingness to work.
Grandpa was known for his drinking when he lived there. It was a serious problem for him. It is not something he or the family is proud of but it is a truth that has an effect even today.
I am hazy on the details of when but I believe it was the late thirties or early forties when the Barton brood left their roots for the dream of California where they settled in Healdsburg.
Grandpa managed to become one of the better concrete workers around. He had a stormy relationship with the owner that led to a long-running family joke that goes like this: "Yeah, Grandpa was a big gun in the concrete industry. Why, he got fired over 40 times."
The owner would get upset with Grandpa and fire him, then recognize what he had done and hurriedly hire him back. Grandpa finally had enough of the name-calling and firings and told him next time he called him those names or fired him would be the last time.
That time came. Loyalty is a trait that is sometimes strong in the U.S. and he had demonstrated it for a long while. He had enough. He ended up being hired for more money closer to home by a guy who had tried for years to hire him away, but he had remained loyal to the man he worked for.Now that loyalty was transferred and even when the first owner came by personally begging him to come back and making promises, Grandpa stood by his word. He had the trait of honesty.
Some time later a man came by who had known Grandpa back east. He refused to believe that the "drunken Okie" could have sobered up. He unleashed some profanity. Grandpa looked at whichever of his 9 kids were nearby and explained that behavior of that sort was unacceptable and would not be tolerated. When the visitor went at it again Grandpa removed him from the property and instructed him never to return even though they had been close friends previously. That is the kind of man he was. His family was important to him.
Dad used to tell how Grandpa would save the desserts from his lunch pail to share with one or another of the kids. He would deprive himself of pleasures to share in the joy of his children. He was a very good family man. This little blurb doesn't really explain the impact, but think of taking your favorite activity and giving it away for years because you would rather see someone else happy.
I first met Grandpa when he lived here in Portland. Through the eyes of a child he was the coolest guy ever. There was nothing he could not do. He did concrete work, woodwork, built his own fireplace, extended the living room himself, built a fence where we had to use dynamite, taught us woodworking in his shop, was a good fisherman, knew how to hunt...never won a game of checkers, but never lost, either...every game at some point the board would "accidentally" be overturned with a hearty laugh.
I remember going to the store with Grandpa. He always had a quip ready and everyone he spoke with smiled and laughed. He was so good humored and generous.
I remember when he and Loyal laid the sidewalk for my Mom's mother. They asked for and would take no money, they bought the cement, laid the sidewalk, put in some designs...because that is what families do, even if it is "only" family by marriage.
Grandpa was definitely a success story in America. I am a betyter person today for having been blessed to know him and learn from him and have a Father who was raised by him.
When I celebrate the 4th I am thankful to live in a country where men like him are allowed to succeed and demonstrate that you don't have to be a Harvard graduate to be a great man and you don't have to change the world to make it a better place. Happy birthday Grandpa, I still miss you and still love you, and happy Birthday to the United States...despite its flaws, still the best country on earth.