Several years ago I dated a girl who habitually tucked her arms inside her shirt. I thought it was a little odd, she thought it was cute. Okay, I can roll with it.
Fast forward about 15 years. A classmate does the same thing. I saw her pulling stuff out of her purse the first day of class, but ever since then she always keeps her arms inside her shirt. It is such a habit that I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have seen her with her arms outside her shirt.
I seldom bother to learn the names of classmates. It isn't that I don't care...wait, yes it is...I really don't care what their names are. Odds that I will build a business or other relationship with any of them outside one 13 week class are slim. I have better things to do with my time than learn the names of people I will never meet again.
How is that relevant? This girl is one of the sharper cookies in the class, so I refer to her frequently. And as a marker, I refer to her as the girl with no arms, the armless wonder, etc., and a couple times wondered why she kept her arms inside her shirt all the time.
Until tonight. I have no idea what I saw the first week...because it turns out she was born without arms. If you want to know how low you can feel...try being where I was at that moment...and still am. Yes, I will give her a very formal apology...but nothing will erase that stain from my mind. I have never been as low, as rotten of a human being, as much of a jerk as I am at this moment.
That is why I am putting this on here. So I will never forget this moment. So I will never say anything that can be hurtful, harmful, or anything of that nature. No matter how much I like to joke...some results just aren't worth it.
I know she will never read this, but my apology is no less heartfelt. I am sorry for whatever pain I have caused you with my thoughtfulness. I hope you never again encounter someone like me.
4 years ago
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