Remember my name and vote for me

I do not remember when I first used the phrase, "Remember my name and vote for me", but it has rapidly become one of my favorites. Over the last 10 years or so I have probably said it thousands of times...usually after I do or say something outrageous.
It is actually semi-serious.
I believe the politicians who are in office are not what best works for the system the U.S. is under. I think people such as myself and some of the people I know would do a better job of actually representing our constituency than do people who have not eaten at a McDonalds because they couldn't afford better for several years...
Of course, if I WERE to do such a campaign, I would need the right campaign managers. I am thinking models in bikinis. That would pretty much do the job. Think of all the benefits.
First off, you wouldn't have to look at me. Seriously, you have some beautiful, scantily clad, gyrating woman and you are going to look at an aging, out of fashion smart-smurf? In the fairly forgettable words of Elasti-girl...I don't think so. So the guys would love me for having the eye candy. Of course, they would also suspect I was going Bill Clinton on the interns although anyone with half a brain would realize those girls have better things to do with their time than me.
They would have the added benefit of diverting the protesters. They would be so busy complaining about the demeaning and degrading jobs these girls had that they would completely overlook the fact my shirts have not been ironed in...well, next week will be ever. So I think I have selected my campaign managers and image consultants.
Of course, that will cost me a few votes. That is kind of sad. Right now I only can count on 2 votes...mine and Grandpas. Grandpa died 10 years ago, but I will go Chicago and vote for him anyway. Until I hooked up with the girls, he was on board with me so I lost his vote.
I am thinking of dropping the babes and going with...oh, I don't know, Roseanne? Her personality alone ought to be worth 70 or 80 sympathy votes. If I can put up with people like her, people will think I can put up with anyone or anything.
See? Just by writing this I have added 35 to 40 times the number of votes I started with. Do you really want to miss out on a bandwagon like that? Join the surge now while graft is still easy and good cabinet positions easy to attain for relatively small payments. Pay early, pay often, and vote the same way.